“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'” – Fred Rogers
When I saw that quote earlier today on Facebook, I was immediately grateful for it as a parent. My hope is that I won’t need it in the near future, and that my little guy’s consciousness will stay protected from the reality of yesterday’s horrific event at the Boston Marathon for the time being. But it will surely be helpful someday, likely sooner than I’d like.
As you probably know by now, normalcy for me is having a bone to pick with certain gaps in medical education (yes, I realize that makes me kind of a freak).
One such bone has to do with goal-oriented looking. There’s a proverb in medical education, “you don’t find what you don’t look for.” Normalcy for me would be, I’m sorry to say, classic yes-but. Normalcy would be to take issue with that, and to point out that, yes, goal-oriented looking is really important (a known core principle of clinical observation, it’s the job of anyone in a position to be assessing something), but it can cause us to miss what we don’t think to search for (like gorillas, which, surprise!, are everywhere!).
It’s not enough for care providers simply to look for; to see the full picture, we’ve also got to look at, look in, and look with. Goal-oriented looking practices need to be supplemented with open-ended and collaborative looking practices. That’s normalcy for me.
This quote by Mister Rogers helps see what I take for granted in my normalcy: how very much power there is in looking for.
It reminds me how helpful it is to have a strategy when you are overwhelmed and scared. It reminds me that we can find what we are searching for– if that is an actual finding, or merely a foothold in the chaos. It reminds me the incredible strength of children’s perception, and how as adults we can tap it to help them (and us) make sense of the world. And it reminds me that the human spirit to help is everywhere. Even when we are not aware of it. And especially when we are.
Thanks, Mr. Rogers. Thanks, Mr. Rogers’ mom… that helped. Resuming normalcy, grateful for new light.
The Art Practicum: Clinical Skills for the Digital Age, at Millennial Medicine, Medical Futures Lab, Rice University, Houston TX, April 26, 2013.
Arts-Based Faculty Development: Catalyzing a learning community around art and teaching. Co-presenting with Gopal Yadavalli, MD, Boston University Medical School, at the Medical Humanities Consortium Annual Meeting, Caspersen School of Graduate Studies, Drew University, Madison NJ, May 22-23, 2013.
The Art Practicum: 1-day workshop for care providers, Rose Art Museum, Brandeis University, Waltham, MA, October 5, 2013. Express interest here.
2 Responses to ““Look for the helpers””
While being goal oriented is good to an extent — everyone reading this should have goals and be working some sort of plan to attain them — most people fall into the first group, those who focus primarily on being goal oriented and as such end up missing the elephant in the room: the process. Goal oriented people are people who strive and fight and move for the sake of attaining a goal. Likewise, process oriented people are folks who strive and fight and move because they’re looking to improve. Both of these people will achieve their goals, but unlike process oriented people, goal oriented people run the risk of getting to a goal and then sitting there, happily resting on their laurels. These folks can sometimes go the rest of their lives without realizing that while they may be achieving the goals they’re setting, they aren’t growing: by not focusing on the process, the goals they’re setting are a result of immediate necessity, and aren’t building anything up. These goals aren’t pushing them or making them grow.
Thanks, Lynn – agreed – it’s not either-or but both that help us innovate and grow. I’m interested in how looking at our own looking can help us see the difference.